You don't need much of an imagination to work out exactly how an old mobile phone might be used as a sex toy. And anyone who has ever owned an old Nokia will know that they are well-placed to be excellent in this regard because they have, shall we say, good vibrations.
The news that people are using phones as vibrators probably won't come as much of a surprise to most of us. However, the survey conducted by Indian site Agents of Ishq does have some other great insights. There are some amusing things that women have been told about the dire consequences of masturbation, including the classic "your vagina will fall out", that neatly demonstrates the traditional amount of male ignorance about female body parts.
And once we're over the adolescent amusement of people using old phones for masturbation we can settle down and think of some of the good things about this. For one thing, a phone used to get you off doesn't sit clogging up a landfill. Its battery isn't leaking hazardous chemicals into the Earth and it seems like a nice way for a phone to spend its retirement.
It's also got a vague sense of empowerment about it. Not every country has free and easy access to sex toys and using an old phone is a lot less embarrassing than going out to buy a vibrator. The only downside highlighted in the survey seems to be that the phone can illuminate your lady garden when you're trying to be subtle in the dead of night.
The only downside to all of this is, of course, that the Nokia 3310 isn't waterproof. That means cleaning may be a challenge, and it also raises the risk of a very sensitive area getting an electric shock in very rare circumstances. Still, it's not difficult to take some basic precautions with clingfilm or a condom to keep the phone as dry as a bone.
Anyway, check out the rest of the survey, its results are genuinely interesting and comic in equal measure.