Newsweek Writer: I'm Not Horny, I'm Just Researching Tentacle Porn For My Wife

By Bryan Menegus on at

What we know to be true: Newsweek (an American news publication) senior writer Kurt Eichenwald had a 212-page hentai comic called B-Chiku open on his computer.

We know this because Eichenwald accidentally left the tab open while tweeting a photo of his computer screen in an unrelated attempt to bark down an anti-semitic troll. While enjoying such reading material is his right, what followed was an excellent demonstration of how not to react after making such an error online.

Some 14 hours later, Eichenwald issued a rambling, four-part tweetstorm explaining why the tab was open in the first place, reproduced in full below:

Sigh. Ok, I’m a dumbass. Believe it or not, my kids & I were trying to convince my wife that “tentacle porn” existed. I tried to find some to show her it was real. But I couldn’t find any - & ended up w/ this. My family reads my twitter feed, so they know this is true. While hentai (until now, I thought it was called manga) was on screen as part of search to prove 2 my wife tentacle porn exists, what diff would it make? Seriously, while I don’t see the appeal of cartoon parn, porn is a multi-billion industry. Pple obviously look at it.

Eichenwald further muddied the (already inky) waters by posting supposed proof of his narrative: a text conversation with his wife where he “only removed names and drug names.”

Whatever the case, B-Chiku is in no way tentacle porn. While the site Eichenwald accessed this particular comic from was hentairules.net, a more navigable version on e-hentia.org lists helpfully lists some tags such as “big ass,” “smell” (???), “swimsuit,” and “teacher.” But tentacles? None here.

If you’re trying to show a loved one that really weird porn of something exists, as Eichenwald claimed, searching for the exact words you’re looking for might be a good start. Google returns adequate results for “tentacle porn,” the second of which is the tentacle erotica Wikipedia page. Seems like a smart approach to me, especially if I were trying to spare my spouse from having to see cartoon women forcibly penetrated by deep sea invertebrates.

WARNING: NSFW IMAGE BELOW

Which again, is not what’s depicted in the 212-page comic Eichenwald had open on his computer and willingly photographed for his 334,000 followers to see.

Image: Kurt, if you’re reading this, “moving them around in a circle and squeeze them every once in a while” is worse than Cosmo tips

Out of respect for Eichenwald’s stated wishes, we won’t be reaching out to see if he enjoyed jerking it to B-Chiku.

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