Finally, Lamborghini Has Made a Phone Exclusively for Arseholes

By Tom McKay on at

Here’s the perfect gift for the special someone in your life who can’t afford a Lamborghini, but likes to dress and accessorise like they can: a $2,450 ( £1,1915) “Alpha-One” premium smartphone.

Per the Verge, this ridiculous money-hole-posing-as-a-phone clocks in with “the most luxurious technology”—roughly similar specifications to a high-end smartphone that costs less than a third of the sticker price—as well as a “liquid metal” frame, “Italian handmade black leather” and the Tonino Lamborghini Raging Bull logo, which symbolises “strength, courage, determination and boldness.”

It does come with a leather phone case and a cable, but no adapter, because LOL.

Here’s the full feature set, per the Verge:

  • 5.5-inch WQHD, 2560x1440, display
  • Qualcomm Snapdragon 820 processor
  • Android Nougat
  • 4GB of RAM with 64GB of storage and up to 128GB of expandable storage
  • 20-megapixel rear-facing camera and a 8-megapixel front-facing camera
  • 3,250mAh battery
  • Dual SIM card support
  • Fingerprint scanner

Colour me unimpressed. To pose as a real, live fake Lambo owner, you’re going to need an entirely different feature set. Here are some suggestions:

  • Lynx body spray dispenser
  • Photo gallery pre-loaded with pictures of your definitely real Lambo, which is in the shop, because you pushed it too hard, in an impromptu illegal street race, along uh the scenic Sicilian coast
  • App which reminds you to call your mum on laundry day
  • E-book of Neil Strauss’ The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
  • A wall adapter, since £1,915 apparently doesn’t buy you a wall adapter
  • QR code which, when scanned, allows you to skip the line when you arrive in Hell

Enjoy, fellas! [The Verge]


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