It's been no secret that Jeremy Clarkson has had to temporarily step down from The Grand Tour thanks to a bout of pneumonia. It hasn't been clear how this is going to affect the second series of Amazon's motoring show, but it looks like Amazon might be pushing on without him. That's why it's advertising for a temporary co-host to fill in for him.
Ok so that advert doesn't name Clarkson or The Grand Tour by name, but it doesn't take a genius to work out who they're talking about. Particularly since it says applicants would be filling in for a host currently suffering from pneumonia, asks that they have a full driving license, and knows about cars.
But that's where all the serious stuff ends, with the rest of the advert detailing an applicant that sounds like a carbon clone of Mr Clarkson. Here's what you'll need to be like if you want a chance to step into his (presumably) very large shoes:
- The ability to speak British English, including advanced qualification in exaggeration and braggadocio
- At least 6.5+ million followers on Twitter or similar social media network
- A willingness to wear vast amounts of pre-washed denim that's a couple of sizes too small
- A proven track record in effectively dealing with colleagues that they find annoying and being lost in unknown locations
- A strong knowledge of cars, metaphors and progressive rock music
- Be entertaining, engaging and willing to pause before delivering the final word or words of some sentences
- Preference is given to tall candidates with curly hair
- Working closely with the existing hosts, with duties including (but not limited to) accidentally setting things on fire, handling heavy machinery (badly) and being able to bloody-mindedly argue a point that no one will ever agree
- Driving the world’s fastest and most exciting cars while talking to camera. Ability to do this without crashing would be considered an advantage, but not essential (apparently)
It doesn't say anything about opinions about climate change, cyclists, motorbikes, or not being given a steak dinner. Those are probably a given though.
If you think that's for you, and are more than happy to "join a long-established team of variously sized co-hosts", you should send them your CV. Maybe if you impress the producers enough they'll give you a call next time Hammond crashes something. [Amazon via Metro]