Londoners Live in Constant Terror of... Prosecco Shortage

By Gary Cutlack on at

The fizzy white wine that's all everyone ever seems to talk about nowadays has become so entrenched in the dinnertime rituals of the nation that people are spending serious amounts of time worrying about it running out.

That's one bizarre finding of a survey of people who on the surface appear to be like us, anyway, which looked at the not-very-serious worries of young people who, all told, don't really have a lot to worry about, as long as they never think about owning a house with more than one window.

The survey was carried out by a team Goldsmiths university that was commissioned by HTC, and found that one in three Londoners live in constant dread of the prosecco taps being turned off, with a similar percentage of people around the country having nothing more serious to be bothered about than the state and free availability of avocadoes. The dread fear of "Having to wait in the house all day for a delivery because there isn't a specific time-slot" was top national concern.

The proper science behind humouring this whining is to prove how we're never satisfied, despite most of us already having enjoyed more hot baths in our lifetimes than all the kings and queens of previous centuries have had. Behavioural psychologist Patrick Fagan explained: "Although we're earning more money as a country, life satisfaction has barely moved. In our comfortable lives, we might have enough money for bills or a holiday, but it's in our nature never to be satisfied."

Hence spending our time worrying about what would happen if Mars changed the recipe of the Bounty. [Standard]


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