Banning Mermaids Will Just Force Them Underground

By Gary Cutlack on at

A lady who describes herself as being a mermaid — because she owns the relevant wearable tail accessory — has claimed unfair discrimination by swimming pools in Bristol, which have banned her and her kind from swimming in the city's leisure facilities.

This, amateur mermaid Stacie Orban says, means she's being forced to swim in more dangerous stretches of water to get her tail-wearing swimming fix, opening her up to catching diseases, being eaten by predators, getting sucked down weirs and being masturbated at by passing men who never really got over seeing Daryl Hannah in Splash as youngsters.

She says the fabric and/or silicon tails are safe enough and easy to get out of so there's no reason not to allow merpeople in pools, with Orban telling the Bristol Post that "There are a few pools that accept it, but you would have to go to Cornwall or go to a professional mermaiding school" if you really want to swim without using your legs much. [Bristol Post via Mirror]