Asda Moves to Make a Giant Sausage the Centrepiece of Christmas

By Gary Cutlack on at

Look, right, the reason this is on a so-called tech site is because sausages are made by machines. I know this because Gregg did an Inside the Factory all about the making of sausages, and it was all stainless steel and surprisingly high-tech machinery churning out the beloved meat tubes. Hence Asda making a foot-long pig in a blanket is definitely tech news you need to know.

Asda's massive sausage is so posh the company suggests carving it up with a proper carving set (pictured above), also taking the time to place it upon a bed of seasonal vegetables. The clear inference here is that it thinks a lot of modern people will decide that this will in fact do for the meat part of their Christmas meal altogether, as there's less waste than a turkey, it cooks quicker, and is of course a sausage wrapped in bacon.

You could even at a push wrap it in a slice of white bread and eat it in front of the television as the streamed content buffers due to local exchange contention issues, making it the ideal millennial meal-for-one of late 2018.

Apparently there's a massive sausage waving competition going on between the supermarkets this year, as Aldi is also preparing the launch of an equally enormous 12-inch bacon-wrapped sausage. The only winner in all of this is... us. [Mirror]