wtf

Nasty Christmas Products Continue With Sainbury's New Pig and Sprout-Flavour Teas

By Tom Pritchard on at

I do not have a very good relationship with sprouts. Mainly because they're disgusting, and every Christmas my mum tries to force them on me to see if I've suddenly decided they're palatable. Naturally I refuse, because I'm a grown man in my 20s and don't need to do what she says anymore. I'm also the only person on this island who doesn't like tea, so you can imagine my horror when Sainsbury's announces that they're launching sprout-flavoured tea ready for Christmas.

You thought Iceland's Christmas-tree flavoured crisps were bad? Well it seems like they were only the beginning.

The orange supermarket, which may be merging with Asda if the regulators allow it, has launched two kinds of premium Christmas tea for the weirdos of the world. The first is Brussels Sprout flavour, and the other comes with the flavour of pigs in blankets. I love sausage and bacon as much as the next person, but frankly I wouldn't want to drink it as tea. Though saying that I do wonder whether it'll be like pig-flavoured Bovril, served up in a bag.

But if someone were to demand I drink a mug of one variety, I definitely know which one I'd pick. As bizarre as pork-flavoured tea may be, it certainly beats the taste of old boiled socks. The only upside here is that each variety costs £1 for 20 bags (is that good for premium tea? I wouldn't know), so they make the perfect gag gift. They don't seem to be available online yet, but they have been spotted in store. So if you;re passing by, it might be worth a look.

I would buy a pack for my brother, but that would only encourage the supermarkets to keep pulling this shit every year. I'll have to find him something equally amusing, especially since he's been taunting me with the prospect of a retaliatory gag gift that would make my grandma have a heart attack. Any ideas? [Metro]