Waitrose Tests Having the Delivery Driver Unpack Your Internet Shop

By Gary Cutlack on at

Waitrose has had a very, very bad idea, suggesting that in the future -- or even right now in the small area it's testing this service enhancement in -- your internet shopping delivery man might let himself into your (smart) home via an access code then unpack your shopping for you.

The idea being that this is great because you can then be out or at work or hiding in the bedroom with an erection, and the van driver can put your fish fingers in the freezer compartment for you and your sausages in the fridge because those are for tonight, empowering people to plan and remote-shop like never before. A super-small trial involving just 100 customers who live near the supermarket chain's south London depot is underway right now, although requiring a smart lock and all the fuss that goes with it is likely to stop most normal people bothering with the scheme anyway, even if it does later launch on a wider scale.

And no, it won't mean the driver can have a nap on your sofa or a poo or make a cup of tea or look at your pants as they dry on the radiator, as the humiliated delivery people will be required to wear body cameras that record the entire unpacking process and make footage of their actions available for review the next day; so if your milk isn't in the right part of the fridge you can complain and someone can be given a remote bollocking.

And look, the poor delivery people have to put things over their shoes so they don't leave footprints on your precious laminate while unpacking your precious cheese. They will literally hate you if you request this dehumanising level of servitude from someone who only signed up to be a van driver, and will probably come back later, with those blue things on their hands as well as their feet and one stretched tight over their face, to strangle you. Then they will have a nap, a poo, and a cup of tea, and try on your underpants. [Sky News]