Cards Against Humanity's Black Friday Sale Has 99% Off Cars, Holidays, Toilets...

By Holly Brockwell on at

If there's one company guaranteed to do something off-the-wall for Black Friday, it's those pranksters at 'the party game for horrible people', Cards Against Humanity.

Previous stunts have included making imitation Pringles called Prongles and getting people to pay them five dollars for literally nothing.

This year, they've done a pretty amazing sale that includes some genuine bargains, as well as some things that will haunt your soul until you die. Like this:

Everything is 99% off, and a new deal appears every ten minutes [update: looks like all the deals have finished, except for the actual card game one].

Deals to be had for 99% off on the eye-meltingly-designed site include:

  • A bust of Barack Obama
  • A 4K TV for $34.99
  • A red Ford Fiesta
  • A coffin
  • A gold dildo
  • 500 pounds of beans
  • A toilet shaped like a throne.

Someone actually bought all of those, including someone who apparently paid $999 for "the spirit of Black Friday" which seems to just be a red bodysuit (although profits go to a food bank, which is nice).

If you're wondering – like we did – whether this is all just made up for the lols, the FAQs section would suggest not:

Is this real?
Yes. All of these products are actually available for 99% off, and if you purchase something we will actually ship it to you.

But the deals seem too good to be true!
We’ve chosen to make them true. That’s the miracle of Black Friday.

Can the global financial system handle these deals?
Most economic indicators suggest “no.”

Surely you must be losing a lot of money on this promotion.
Oh dear yes. This is a financial catastrophe for our company.

How were the products on this page selected?
Our team of experts spent over 500 hours researching the highest-rated consumer goods and exclusive collectable items. Every item was plotted on a six-dimensional chart of desirability, style, functionality, value, charisma, and je ne sais quoi.

[...]

Is there any language that your lawyers demanded you paste onto this website?
Yes.

All items are sold “as-is.” If your item doesn’t arrive, or is damaged in transit to you, or you are otherwise unhappy with the purchase, you are eligible for a refund of up to a maximum of the purchase price you paid (plus applicable sales tax). No exchanges will be made. All items except the Absurd Box are available only in the US. It is your responsibility to ascertain and obey all applicable local, state, federal, and international laws (including minimum age requirements) in regards to the possession, use, and sale of any item purchased from this site. By placing an order, you represent that the products ordered will be used only in a lawful manner.

Imagine being Cards Against Humanity's lawyer. What a job.

You can see all the deals here if you can handle the site design. We're off to /r/EyeBleach to recover. [The Verge]