Update: we now have some idea why. See edit at the end.
Do you LOVE logistics?
Does the thought of ordering a parcel and getting it delivered by one of the various identikit and often terrible delivery companies in the UK make you all tingly?
Do you have a FAVOURITE delivery company and want to slap their branding all over your life?
Then have WE got the phone case for YOU.
Casetify, for reasons that we will never understand, have done an entire collection of DHL-branded tech accessories. Honestly, we couldn't have told you which one of the delivery companies DHL is without the eye-watering yellow branding on the cases to clue us in.
Look at it. Look at the phone cases, the Apple Watch strap, the one that looks like you literally stuck a shipping label on the back of your £800 phone. Why? Why, why, why?
We honestly cannot fathom why anyone would willingly pay money to advertise for a company unless it's some kind of super-cool status-boosting brand, which we think it's fair to say DHL is absolutely not. In fact, since the cases cover up the Apple logo, you're actually replacing a cool and beloved brand with one most people probably couldn't pick out of a lineup.
The Casetify website describes DHL as "the world's most hyped up delivery experience" which makes absolutely no sense and makes us want to declare Nathan Barley a documentary.
On the bright side, the cases are apparently "military grade impact proof," which at face value sounds quite a lot like they're saying they would withstand a bomb (is that not a military-grade impact?), but we're not sure anyone will be putting that to the test.
Even more bafflingly than the fact that any of this exists is the fact that apparently the first lot sold out. However, the press release fails to mention any actual figures, so we're going to assume there was one of each design and they were all sold to people who work at DHL.
The cases, including one where you can customise the "to" and "from" on a shipping label (woop!) cost between £30 and £39 each. It would be considerably cheaper to make an actual shipping label and just whack it on the back of your phone, but we're clearly missing the point because we have no idea what the point is.
The Apple Watch bands, meanwhile, will cost you just £40. What an absolute bargain for putting a hideous, garish brand that means nothing to most people on your beautiful, £400 smartwatch.
Is this a hipster thing we're not aware of? Is it a very, very early April Fool? Does anyone understand anything anymore? Please let us know in the comments, we're starting to go a bit doolally.
It started with a £185 DHL-branded t-shirt by fancy fashion brand Vetements, and is now officially A Thing in stylish circles.
We are still confused, but slightly less so. Thank you Hans.