PR folks love inventing new national holidays (minus the time off work, obviously), and to add to the bobbins that is Blue Monday, we now have Bleak Friday.
Deliveroo says the second Friday in December, which this year is the 14th, is the least productive working day of the year thanks to Christmas parties the night before. Apparently, British businesses will lose £541m (!) of productive working time, and breakfast and coffee orders on Deliveroo shoot up by 89%.
Still, at least Deliveroo is actually doing something about it: they've invented a doughnut-bagel hybrid called The Doughgel (4/10 for naming). They'll also be giving away lots of them at King's Cross this week, but don't pick one up if you're veggie:
"Available exclusively on Deliveroo for the festive party season, the Doughgel has been scientifically designed to clear away the cobwebs by stimulating the central nervous system.
Caffeine and protein are provided by coffee-marinated bacon, whilst the vanilla and maple dough is broken down into amino acids, which in turn replenish the neurotransmitters depleted by a long night of drinking. The rejuvenating dish is topped with pecans; rich in magnesium and known for its anti-inflammatory benefits."
Jeez, just say it tastes nice, that'd do.
Doughgels will be available from a very specific 9.13am on Friday 14th, because that's apparently peak hangover time.
A bleary-eyed Joe Groves from Deliveroo comments:
"This year will mark the first official “Bleak Friday” - although the office Christmas party recovery is a time-honoured tradition as reliable as the changing of the clocks. To fuel the nation’s workers on our busiest morning for orders, we’ve developed the ultimate hangover buster.
If the Doughgel turns out to be as popular as we expect it to be, it won’t be long until we see it on the shelves of every bakery around the country."
We're not buying into this Bleak Friday stuff, but if it means we get free food, we will reconsider that position. Doughnuts to the usual address, kthx.