The slightly queasy quote above comes from Professor Mark Post of the department of vascular physiology at Maastricht University, which has been given £300,000 to help find a better way of making meat in a lab.
Remember all that delicious money Microsoft pledged to help Nokia make a success of its WP7 device launch? Some of it was blown over the weekend, through a series of super-short teaser adverts shown on ITV.
David Cameron might soon have to start live-Tweeting X-Factor as well as joining LinkedIn, with a new government action plan suggesting it jumps into more forms of social media to "to facilitate a two-way dialogue with citizens."
The Navy's new Maritime Composite Training System (MCTS) has gone online, giving trainee troops a chance to virtually practise on new Type 45 destroyers without the risk of reversing one onto a sandbank and getting on the local news.
YouTube has made a joke. It's implemented the "Wadsworth constant" which automatically skips the usually boring first 30 per cent of any YouTube clip. Simply add the modifier "&wadsworth=1" to any YouTube URL like so. [Reddit via Electricpig]
Asus Chairman Johnny Shih has just slipped an exciting new product out of his briefcase at tech event AsiaD -- the long-rumoured updated Eee Transformer Android tablet. It's almost as exciting as the epic teaser trailer.
US monitoring body the American Academy of Pediatrics has updated its research on the effects of TV-watching on toddlers, concluding that there are "potentially negative effects and no known positive effects" from plonking baby down in front of the box.
The knowingly sexist Duke Nukem has got himself in trouble with the UK Advertising Standards Authority, which has barred publisher 2K Games from showing its lapdancing-themed Duke advert before 11.00pm.
Foreign Secretary William Hague has spoken out on the digital threats facing the UK, claiming the government is "trying to prevent an arms race in cyber space" by upping its spending on preventing digital attacks.