Sorry for the long stretch between columns; it's been tough work recalling some of the going-ons from my stint behind bars. Our cell had been fine apart from the smelly kid who for all intents and purposes had lost the plot; he was taken out of the cell and this in turn led to a new cellmate, an older lag who seemed comfortable in his new surroundings instantly, crashing onto his new bunk and shifting things about to make space for himself. Read More >>

Most weeks in the comments here, there are comparisons made between cannabis and alcohol, and admittedly, it is a simple comparison to make: They both have effects on behaviour and mental state in one form or another, after all. Read More >>

As we entered the police station, I was sure I was about to get a warning -- most likely a night in the holding cell, I figured. To be honest, after the hours of arguing, and the two days' drinking, sniffing and smoking, I was looking forward to some relaxation. Read More >>

If you're out with a friend and he advises you on what pair of trainers to buy, does he then have a right to those trainers? Can he borrow them? No of course he can’t; being in the shop with a mate does not mean you are buying them together. So why is it that if you buy something big (a sofa and arm chair, let's say) with a woman you are sleeping with, does she think her advice constitutes a percentage share of the purchase? Read More >>

Before I get on with the main body of the column I would like to comment on Drugs Live: The Ecstasy Trial, which we saw last week on channel 4. Was Chris Morris creating havoc with a new Brass Eye series; I'm still none too sure. Read More >>

Ambition is a cruel mistress, and I have long since learned my lesson that if things are going well, leave them alone; be happy with your current “lot” in life and try not to disturb the status quo, as for every easy week, month or year of your life, there are several that are a struggle. Secondly, I have learnt to stick at what you are good at. Read More >>

After a tumultuous few weeks things have started to calm down again; it’s impossible to forecast in any line of business. The recession for me has been on a whole positive; my business fortunes mirroring Pizza Hut, with more people choosing a night in front of a movie than going out on the town. And what makes a film or TV better than a decent bag of herb? Read More >>

“I don’t give a flying fu*k about you, where’s my money”? This is not how I expected the conversation to play out, and I was shocked to silence by his conversartion opener. “I have most of your money; just waiting to shift”. My retort was solid and mostly honest, but he did not want to hear any of it. Read More >>

This week I am going to look at the relatively easy route to becoming a full-time dealer; looking back at my first real contact in the business, and also answering a few questions from the previous week's column, before getting on to this week's episode. Read More >>

Like I mentioned before, customer management is hugely important in my line of work. If you are not strict with your punters, you can have them running you ragged in no time at all. The clients I kept around me knew the rules; obeyed them to the "T" and therefore continued to get a good service. Read More >>

Before I start this weeks article, I would like to respond to some comments from last week. Firstly, to the chap who said I should be run over by a bus -- are you a bus driver? Do you have access to a bus? Just wondering if I should start looking when I cross roads. Read More >>

BONG, BONG, BONG SMASH! I was soaking wet; had not yet worked out where the ear-ringing sound was coming from, and I had been covered with drink; a fizzy liquid spilled all around me on the floor. No time to guess what it was, though, as I had some spirited youth hanging onto my head as he continued to wrestle me to the floor. Read More >>

Jamie Snoll is a drug-dealer from Essex, who is stepping into Matt Delito's shoes for today's column and offering up a view from the other side of crime...The police radio hasn't stopped fackin' crackling away, though I can hardly hear anything over the spluttering, gagging and retching. It takes another minute before I can open my burning eyes as wide as I can, and then realise that spluttering sound was coming from...me? Closing my eyes as the stinging intensifies, it hit homes that I have been the victim of a CS gas attack...a gas attack that I can't exactly report to the police, considering they were the assailants in the first place. Read More >>