Sadly not to rule
Julian Assange has shown himself to be a huge fucking idiot over and over again. But he really outdid himself this time.
Apparently "the single greatest photo of any president ever" - but it's photoshopped.
The outgoing president is announcing plans to get humans on the Red Planet by the 2030s.
Its director has asked for £5.4 million so that it can build a replica White House on the Secret Service training grounds in southern Maryland.
The American GCHQ will delete "incidentally" collected data only and not a kilobyte more.
And by everyone we don't just mean all Americans, we mean everyone everywhere -- UK included.
Reporters asked the president what a proportionate response looked like to the Sony hack, and whether the decision to pull the movie was a mistake.
The phones on Air Force One look like an Iron Man accessory.
The truth is, depressingly little.
Our Prime Minister must've been really banging on about the "Special Relationship" between the US and UK recently, as he's about to become the first non-US world leader to get a free ride aboard Air Force One with the President.
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