column
Procrastination, and the Art of Getting Everything Else Done

The world we live in is fast-paced, hectic and constantly busy, yet many people seem to be both standing still and accomplished at the same time. This makes someone like me seethe with envy at anyone who can wake up in the morning and just do the thing they're setting out to do, and do only that. Read More >>

column
It's Tough Work Being a Social Media Monkey For a Corporate Twitter Account

Hello, my name's Brandmonkey. You've never met me, you've never seen me in the street and you've never chatted to me. But you probably hate me. Because I work on a corporate company's Twitter account. Read More >>

column
On the Fear of Taking Other Families' Holiday Photos

So I'm on holiday, enjoying a leisurely sunset stroll with my family, still feeling bloated from forcing one too many ribs down in that lovely restaurant by the beach. My bliss is shattered however by a faltering, almost apologetic chap approaching me holding out a camera, pointing at his nervously-waiting family by the water's edge. Oh heck, I feel like a midwife charged with delivering his first born; this man has handed me the responsibility of capturing his one and only holiday photo that has the whole family in it. Read More >>

column
Avocados, the Most Dangerous Fruit in the Kitchen

As I type this one-handed, with my left hand wrapped in literal metres of bandage, on an interesting cocktail of pain medication that makes me care about, well, nothing, I have to ask myself -- how did this happen? Read More >>

column
Why Holidays are Dangerous and You Should Stay at Home This Summer

Everywhere across the UK, holiday providers are wringing their hands in desperation because Britons have decided to stay at home this summer. Thanks to our mega-heatwave and the promise of a 40 minute tube ride with forty other exposed armpits, Brits just don't want to go abroad. I applaud this sensible thinking. In my view holidays are overrated, and in fact downright dangerous. That's right. I know that, because I went on holiday last year and nearly died. Read More >>

column
Why I'd Never Buy a Refurbished Phone, Despite Working In a Repair Centre

Let's start by NOT taking my lead from Edward Snowden and Bradley Manning; the private sector doesn't reward whistle-blowing any more than the public sector does. For the purposes of this article I'll have to remain anonymous, so you'll just have to imagine Morgan Freeman's voice coming out of Alan Partridge's mouth, or something. Read More >>

column
The Dead Room

When I first started writing this, it was my aim to fill it with stories of inefficient social services workers, death threats from pensioners and the Kafka-esque world of county-level politics in Britain. While I still have some of those up my sleeve, one story soon took over, and slowly but surely pushed most other anecdotes out of the way. For the protection of friends that still work in the unit and the 'service users' (what we refer to in the real world as children), I won't be declaring where I worked or use real names. Read More >>

column
I'm Not Unemployed, I'm a "Recent Graduate"

There's a strange mix of emotions when leaving University: joy, pride, exhaustion, but above all else -- fear. If you're one of the students that failed to secure a work placement before handing in your final assessment, it's time to start sweating, because competition for entry-level jobs is fierce, with an estimated 600,000 leavers joining the job market this summer. Read More >>

column
Don't Forget to be Awesome

In an era of rehashed and reheated content which plays to the lowest common denominator, I wanted to take a moment to salute some people who do the exact opposite. Don't get me wrong, I bloody love a good cat video and certainly don't have nearly enough time to trawl the likes of Reddit for the hidden gems, but there isn't much depth to that, and frankly there's only a finite amount of cat-shaming possible. Read More >>

column
Missed Deadlines, Lost Wedding Certificates, and Baffling Incompetence: Welcome to the Home Office

Before I say anything else, allow me to be the first to admit that immigration is a sticky topic. The unavoidable truth is that immigration is one of those topics where both extreme views are incorrect. It is, indeed, true that the UK cannot take on an unlimited number of immigrants from all over the world, no matter how well-educated, well-adjusted, and well-prepared they are for life in the UK. The opposite is also true: The UK economy would suffer greatly from not taking in any immigrants at all. Read More >>

column
Notes from the Frontline: Dealing with the Fringes

One of the most challenging aspects of policing, in my opinion, is trying to figure out how to deal with people who have lost perspective to such a degree that they have left all reason behind. Read More >>

column
Britain's Power Certainly Doesn't Lie With the Sun

Well that was it, that was summer. Did you blink and miss it? The nights are drawing nearer once more, and it's time to break out the warm clothing yet again. Read More >>

column
My Windows 7 Launch Party Disaster, or How I Emailed Steve Ballmer Porn

Back in the summer of ’69 (well, 2009), Windows 7 was launched, amid much fanfare. Microsoft, desperate to get things right in the wake of that god-awful Vista, got desperate with its marketing: it bribed people to have Windows 7 launch parties. Yes, parties. With Windows. This is the story of a survivor. Read More >>

column
How the Operations of State-Sponsored Malware Match the Operations of Human Intelligence Agencies

Unlike typical, run-of-the-mill malware threats, state-sponsored malware is developed for the purpose of cyber espionage or sabotage; aspects that are -- believe me -- kept in mind at every stage of its inception. Their operations are strikingly similar to human intelligence agencies rather than traditional malware which steals your passwords; read on for four main similarities below. Read More >>

column
Cashless Transactions Are the Worst Thing to Strike Modern Culture

Science and technology have brought us some amazing and indispensable things in the last 30 years. And I'm not just referring to ChatRoulette; online takeaway delivery, and Kim DotCom. Here are my top three: Read More >>

column
Death By a Thousand Cuts

Gradually the trees became fewer, smaller and less important. By the time the last fruit-bearing adult palm tree was cut, palms had long since ceased to be of economic significance -- this was the end of Easter Island as explained by Jared Diamond, the scientist and author while highlighting a creeping normalcy in the region. The palm trees were essential to the island's economy but they were ignorantly debased by the island's people. Mark Twain once pointed out, history does not repeat itself but it does rhyme, and today the rhythm can be felt on a much bigger island kingdom with trees that scrape the skies. Read More >>

Login
X

Don't have a Gizmodo UK account?