Are you one of those annoying little wretches who enjoys sitting on public transport and listening to your favoured ‘music’ through the built-in speaker in your mobile, automatically enraging your fellow passengers? If so, you’re scum.
Let’s face it – human beings can never get enough telly can we/they? Whether it’s leering at the actual human detritus on the Jeremy Kyle broadcast or leering at the fictional human detritus on Eastenders, telly is the gift that keeps on giving.
When your correspondent was a little boy, he used to love pretending to be Batman. This involved taking all his clothes off, locking himself in the bathroom and drawing swastikas all over his naked body.
Here’s one for you if you’re at the end of your phone contract and are looking to get yourself one of them there ‘smart’ phones that play music and videos, and have alarm clock features, oh and that Snakes game -- loads of stuff.
For today’s top deal, we’re heading back into the dark, distant past, to a collection of movies that gripped us as youngsters and have refused to let go ever since. No, we’re not talking about the Porky’s series.
Dig, if you will, a picture of a sock filled with 10p pieces being hurled out of a window. Now imagine a sock filled with fun coming straight back in through said window. That’s what we’ve got for you today. Erm, sort of.
Hot contender for Game Of The Year has to be Skyrim -- it’s the game that the phrase ‘time vampire’ was surely made for. Players find that entire days have been lost to it and that their P45s are waiting for them at work, if they ever manage to get back into the real world that is.
You’re probably looking forward to the upcoming Christmas season of telly offerings, especially if you’ve seen BBC1’s star-filled festive trailer. It’s in no way one of the most cloying, annoying things that has ever been made. No way.
Today’s best bargain is a little beauty if you’re looking to tablet yourself up (not in an overdosey way) and join the hip, modern crowd, but without splashing out a pile of dough on something that might break when your fat uncle sits on it.
If you’ve hung on and avoided buying the year’s big games when they’ve been released at full price, now is the time for you to swoop in and clean up, with many of them being slashed in price ahead of Christmas.
Black Friday? It’s dead to us. A mere raindrop when compared to the waterfall of bargains that is CYBER MONDAY! Yes, it’s making us a bit embarrassed that we even got excited about Black Friday, such is the wealth of special offers available today.
Best Buy's finally clocked onto the perfect way to get punters to visit their out-of-the-way stores: hold a closing-down sale! Though given the sale a.) is also online, and b.) only 10 - 30 per cent off, Amazon might still get more of your monies anyway.
As you might know if you’re a keen-eyed bargain-snaffler, today is Black Friday, the day when tired Americans recover from a day of Thanksgiving self-stuffing by getting out of bed early and fighting each other for reduced stuff in all the shops. Sounds GREAT!
When I say "best," I mean, "the best deal you can hope for is £81 off a MacBook or iMac." Really, you'd be better off collaring the nearest student to buy your iGadget for you. Or do as I do, and hoodwink an Apple employee friend into doing your dirty work for you. Nonetheless, all the Apple UK Black Friday dealz, below: