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Devastated Family Loses Everything They'd Saved on Their DVR

The Talbott family has suffered a tragic loss. Everything the family had saved for years, all of it disappeared in an instant. Now they set to the task of rebuilding their lives after the huge setback of a crashed DVR. Read More >>

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The Onion's TED-style Mock App Pitch is Perfect

The Onion's TED talk parodies return with the reveal of a remarkable new app called PicSong that turns your countless photos into music—for anyone who might want to do that for some reason. Read More >>

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The Xbox One's Real Magic is Using Voice Commands to Control You

The Xbox One boasts a lengthy feature list that Microsoft hopes will entice gamers over to its side of the console war for the next few years. But as The Onion points out, none are as impressive as the next-gen console's innovative voice commands that make it easier than ever for the hardware to control its users. Read More >>

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Onion: Samsung's New Smartphone Has Highly Disruptive Blowjob Feature

There's nothing the new Samsung Apex can't do. The smartphone lets you check your email, stream video, and it even sucks your dick. Seriously, smartphones these days are just full-service products. The Onion's take on smartphone market one-upsmanship obviously takes things to an unhinged level. But at least Samsung wouldn't be stepping on anybody's patent. We think. Read More >>

hacking
How to Make a Website Fart Whenever Someone Scrolls. Yes, Really.

It's been a tough week for The Onion— it was hacked by the Syrian Electronic Army — but it really knocked this one home. Fart Scroll. Code to make your website fart. Read More >>

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The Onion Explains Exactly How Much Your Social Media Cred Is Worth

With some characteristically sharp little jabs, The Onion makes it clear exactly how much all your online friends are worth with this great little clip. And still, I have to admit I'm a little jealous of Wasserman's follower count. I mean, damn. Read More >>

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Report: Apple to Fix Its Terrible Maps by Rearranging the World

The Onion has some intel on Apple's solution to the Apple Maps debacle. Instead of just fixing the app, Tim Cook & Co. are just going to alter the earth's geography. Read More >>

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The Onion Explains Social Media More Accurately Than Anyone Has Before

The Onion's TED parody series rolls on, with what may be the best—and most scathing—round yet. The target this time? Social media, a joyous place where ideas are a waste of time, and talent is irrelevant. Read More >>

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The Onion Tackles Its Most Important Topic Ever: The History of the Internet

From the first microbial ooze to your most recent Facebook poke, the internet's history is as vast and varied as any major civilization's. Since a subject of this importance deserves only the most stringent satirical savaging, The Onion has—thankfully, blessedly—turned its gaze towards the bits and bytes that have been our ruin and salvation. Read More >>

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The Onion's TED Talk Parodies Keep Getting Better (And More Scathing)

We haven’t checked in on The Onion’s brutal TED Talk parody series, but now’s as good a time as any to get caught up. Above is the most recent, a breakdown of farm animal noises with rapidly escalating pretension. And below? Maybe the purest distillation of TED yet. Read More >>

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The Onion's First TED Talk Parody Is Freaking Hilarious (Because It Seems So Real)

Wouldn't it be great if we could run cars off compost? That's not the topic of a TED Talk, but, sadly, that small nugget of an idea is all you would need to be granted the freedom to pontificate before an audience of naive dreamers at a hokey conference. This is actually The Onion's first TED Talk parody. And it's incredible. The best line? "I'll be your visionary, and you do the things I come up with." Read More >>

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The Onion's TED Talks Parodies: Way Smarter Than the Real Thing

TED Talks! What was once a proud educational lecture series long ago descended into a smug parade of increasingly ridiculous ideas. They've never been more ripe for skewering. Thank goodness The Onion noticed. Read More >>

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HP Explains How It's "Doing That Cloud Thing"

Far too often, it seems like companies are just throwing jargon out at consumers, hoping to provoke awe. Sometimes, you have to wonder if a company even understands the technology it spent millions developing. Read More >>

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Yep, Kickstarter Is Pretty Much a Scam for Useless Crap

The Onion, as only The Onion can, exposed the cesspool of faux-inventions of Kickstarter by calling the folks who start Kickstarter projects, Internet criminals who "bilk friends and families out of terrible, ill-conceived and unnecessary personal projects". Yep, pretty much. Read More >>

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Google Shut Down Gmail For Two Hours to Demonstrate Its Immense Power*

According to The Onion, Google reportedly shut down its Gmail servers for almost two hours yesterday. Maybe the company is getting tired of its 'nice guy' image? When anyone tried to sign on, they were greeted with the following message instead of access to their email: Read More >>

apps
The Onion's Magic Answer Ball App Is Snarky Wisdom on the Go

The Magic 8-Ball helped me decide to go to uni. It helped me decide what to eat as a child, and it's the reason I bought a Jazz drive. It's not infallible. The Onion Answer app is the logical next step in deciding my fate with inanimate objects. Read More >>

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