You don't drink and drive. That's a stupid, terrible thing to do, with a simple, understood cause and effect. So why do we keep waking up, wondering how on Earth that drunken Facebook message seemed like a good idea, and oh my god, Amazon confirmed shipment for WHAT? We've outgrown the drunk dial or drunk text. And oh, the chaos we've drunkenly stumbled into now. Read More >>

One of the many unbearable things about the internet is how we use certain words and phrases until they are completely void of any meaning at all. And, because it's the internet, the most insufferable trends stick around long after they're welcome. Read More >>

Your profile picture represents you. You want to convey that you're fun, interesting, well-travelled, worldly, witty, or any number of likeable, desirable qualities. But we're also really predictable—our profile pictures can be boiled down into 14 specific categories. Read More >>

There's something on the internet that you desperately want to keep everyone from seeing. Something you're deeply embarrassed of. That would show all your friends how you're not actually as smart and fashionable and ironically self-aware as you pretend to be. And you really ought to get over it. Read More >>

You probably haven't regularly used smileys since your middle school days, when modems screeched and President Clinton rained ordnance against Bosnian war criminals. You've grown up since then, but the ;) has remained inert, a relic of type. In our new modern age, is it ever okay to drop a smiley? Read More >>

Always be nice, and cool. That's the motto around here. But sometimes you just want to make someone wildly uncomfortable. Or maybe you want to avoid social nightmare! Either way, here is some sacred social media advice. Heed or perish. Read More >>

Zuck bought Facebook its fanciest new outfit in many years this week, and naturally, the New News Feed is getting all the swooning. But FB added a handful of delicate tweaks and turns to the site—some you might not have noticed yet. Read More >>

There's a virus we need to talk about. It's spread between our brains, fingers, and keyboards, we rarely think about it, and we almost all do it. Maybe it's harmless. Or maybe it's corroding our entire language. Ughhhhhhhhhhh! Read More >>

You have too many friends—I promise you. Really. You've been collecting them for probably half a decade, like barnacles on the side of a slow boat, and they're holding you back. They're also threatening your privacy. End it. Read More >>

No. Read More >>

Playbook is a stupid skeezy app that lets you brag to your bros about your hookups, inserting ratings and degrading commentary along the way. What's not to love? Read More >>

The new year is only yards away, which means you've got a shining chance to reinvent yourself as less of a jerk. Adopt these tech principles and you'll be a better person in 2013. Read More >>

Google is so convinced you don't want to see porn that it started filtering its own search results. Bullshit. Everybody wants porn, and nobody wants to admit it. Except me, of course, I don't look at that smut. But for the rest of you: It's time to fess up. Read More >>

Here we go again, talking about apps for horny people way more than usual. But that's because there's a new king: Snapchat. It sounds like something designed for children. But really, it's really designed for penises. And if you use Snapchat wisely, you can be the emperor of the dick pic. Read More >>

Humans are never going to stop touching each other naked, and we're almost certainly never going to stop touching our phones. If anything, the latter is eclipsing the former. But can you do both at once? Forget what you've heard. Yes you can. Read More >>