The Free Flexor Weight Looks So Much Like Wanking, It Can't Be Real

By Sam Biddle on at

OK. Seriously. The Shake Weight was one thing. But I can understand how that was just an innocent female-oriented workout aid that was appropriated by immature internet cads. But this thing? There's no way it's not overtly about jerking off.

The Free Flexor is just a pliant cord with two weights on the end. They call it "circular strength technology." But no, you're just jacking off a giant floppy weight. Not convinced? These dudes grunting whilst training sure seem to be enjoying it. 1:38—I rest my case. Their muscles are crying! Their bodies are on fire! "I have to switch arms!" The grunts! I fail to see how this is giving you any kind of workout you can't give yourself... for free. But if you combined this with a Shake Weight and a Fleshlight, you might indeed have the Ultimate Body Destruction Workout. [The Consumerist]