Flaming Poop Sets Neighborhood Ablaze After Failed Poo-to-Gold Alchemy Experiment

By Kyle Wagner on at

Amateur science is a wonderful thing, but it's got to be kept in check, people. Building your own space balloon or cataloging the local wildlife? Great! Taking to turn a turd into gold by heating it until it catches fire? Um.

A man in Northern Ireland was arrested after his turning-my-poop-into-gold alchemy project set fire to his whole block. The operating hypothesis is that Paul Moran, who will serve three months in jail for this bit of idiocy, left his own faeces on a heater along with a bunch of other gross stuff, like fertiliser. Then, presumably, he went off to make more. And of course, it caught on fire and burned a bunch of houses.

The judge presiding over the case had an agreeably deadpan sound-byte: "It was an interesting experiment to fulfil the alchemist's dream, but wasn't going to succeed," he told Mr. Moran, which is just about perfect. [Yahoo UK]

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