I Can't Believe This Hotdog-Stuffed Crust Pizza Isn't American

By Mat Honan on at

Holy heart attack, this hot dog stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut UK is probably the most delicious meal you can get and I assume two is a lethal dose. I'll have seven, please.

What the hell, England‽ I thought America was the land of junk food? I thought America was hot dog heaven. I mean, sure, we Europeans invented pizza, but I'm damn sure America invented Pizza Hut! Delicious but disgusting if you think about it cuisine is what they do best. Americans are fat for good goddamned reasons, and none of them involve glands. Unless you're talking about deep-fried glands, which are delicious. Especially when drizzled with mustard. I mean, mustard drizzle!

Just give me the hot dog pizza! Just put some processed pig and cow parts in that crust and let me shove it in my mouth again and again and again until my arteries rip open from a massive blockage and cholesterol oozes out of my pores like impetigo. When's too early to order a pizza? Crap, I sound like Wagner.

[Pizza Hut UK via Grist]