17-Year-Old Speed-Texting Champion Does it Drrrty

By Molly Oswaks on at

17-year-old Justin Bieber look-alike Austin Wierschke, of Rhinelander, Wisconsin (and a native of the United Kingdom?), is £32,000 richer today—thanks to his speedy-quick thumbs and unfailingly accurate dexterity. He's a two-time prize-winning SMS champion, ladies and gents, the fastest in our great nation.

A noble talent undeniably deserving of large piles of cash. The eight-round competition, held in NYC's Times Square, tested for three factors: speed, accuracy, and dexterity. All 11 competitors were given extra challenges, like texting while blindfolded, or texting with their hands behind their back.

Is this almost more ridiculous a contest than a kiddie beauty pageant? I don't know! Here's a better question: What will Austin do with his prize money? Surely this kid has an unlimited text plan on his phone contract, and that only accounts for teensy fraction of the loot.

17-Year-Old Speed-Texting Champion Does it Drrrty

A quick shuffle through his Twitter count pulled up this glowing example of Austin's prize-worthy (NSFW) texting skillz. Artfully crafted emoji, Austin, A+!

Oh, also, is this some sort of text-training injury? Ick. [AP]