Health and Safety Strikes Again: Triangular Flapjacks Banned From School Because They Have Pointy Bits

By Chris Mills on at

Children don't actually live in the real world any more -- instead, they inhabit a strange parallel universe, lined with cotton wool and, for one particular school, no triangular flapjacks. Because the health and safety people have decided they're bad and nasty and hurt people or something.

The ban has been imposed by Castle View School in Essex, because one poor darling got hurt after a triangular flapjack was thrown at him/her. So, according to caterers, all future flapjacks must be cut into "squares or rectangles" (yeah, I know, a square is a rectangle, but bear with me), because apparently 90 degree angles are far less painful than 60 degree ones when they intersect with your face. Also squares have fewer sharp corners to hit people in the face with. Oh wait.

Although the specific geometric dimensions have yet to be verified, Castle View School has issued a statement at least partly confirming this particular farce, with a spokesperson stating:

 “I can confirm that the texture and shape of the flapjacks were reviewed following an isolated accident last week.”

Let's ignore the fact that a dining hall is probably filled with a million far-more-lethal objects to throw around, like, ooh, knives, plates and Year 1 students. Forget that stopping mass food-fights might be a better solution to this particular problem. Put that all behind you, and applaud this noble school saving students from themselves. They do it for the children. [Independent]

Image credit: Flapjacks from Shutterstock