What's the Best Excuse You Can Come Up With to Fob Off the TV Licence?

By Sam Gibbs on at

Pretty much everyone has to buy a damned TV licence, which funds what's probably the best media powerhouse in the world, the BBC, but sometimes it's a bit of a ball ache. Here are some of the most hilarious excuses ever recorded by the TV Licencing authority. Can you do any better?

Here's the top 10 from 2010:

1. "When I called TV Licensing they refused to barter so I decided not to buy. Everything should be up for negotiation."

2. "My house was invaded by a squirrel which weed on my TV, so now it doesn't work properly."

3. "I don't need to buy a licence as I live like a Buddha."

4. "I don't watch the television; I just use it as a light in the dark."

5. "My TV's too small to fit the licence in the back to make the signal work, so I didn't bother getting one."

6. "Can you call back later? I want to finish watching the end of this TV programme."

7. "There's not enough space in my purse for the TV Licence payment card and I can't afford a bigger one."

8. "The street lights outside my house flicker so that I can't watch my TV properly."

9. "My boyfriend was drunk and ate my payment card so I can't pay."

10. "I thought my TV Licence would be free as I only watch TV when I'm bored and mostly at the weekends."

Frankly, how you'd think you'd get away with the old drunk-boyfriend-eat-my-credit-card routine, I do not know. Still, at least they got a little better last year, with things like: "I only use my TV as a lamp. If you switch it on it gives a good glow which allows me to read my book" and "apparently my dog, which is a corgi, was related to the Queen's dog so I didn't think I needed a TV licence". Classic.

But the best one, at least for us, is the very riot-topical: "Why would I need a TV licence for a TV I stole? Nobody knows I've got it". They do now you fool. Have a £1,000 fine. [TV Licensing]

Image credit: Old TV from Shutterstock