It's dark here. Real dark. That's how the dark elves like to keep it. You're not sure what you did to piss them off, but they've captured you good and proper and now here you are wasting away in a cell in some shadowy dungeon. Well, no more! Tonight we break out. Tonight we fight back. Tonight we: ESCAPE FROM THE DARK ELF UNDERCITY!
As ever, it'll run like an old-timey adventure game played through Twitter -- you type stuff to the @GizmodoUK Twitter feed like "BOTHER ELF" or "FIRE LASER PISTOL wildly into the air" or "JUMP up and down until I GET MY WAY" and I'll respond appropriately, acting as a sort of mysterious Dungeonmaster.
Also as ever, there will be a winner, and the winner will be the person who either a) tries the hardest or b) makes me laugh the hardest.
If you want to play, and you should, keep your eyes on the @GizmodoUK Twitter feed at noon, and respond to the opening tweet. Then strap yourselves in for the next hour, because things are going to get wild. And by "wild" I mean "distinctly text-based."
But maybe you've got some more questions about the Twitter Dungeoncrawl. Maybe I have some answers to those questions:"
Yes! I’ve been a gamesmaster for bloody ages, and I’ve run Twitter Dungeoncrawls before. You can read Dog Tied to a Tree, Moonstabber, and SPACE ADVENTURE on my blog, if you’d like, to get an idea of what’s in store.
It’s traditional Dungeons and Dragons parlance for a slog through an underground location in search of monsters to duff up. You can, of course, do what you want once you’re in the game. One guy found the monsters and sold them psychotropic moss and started a minigolf enterprise. One woman played Pokemon. Another went to Hogwarts. I’m not here to judge you.
Note that it might not even take place in a Dungeon; it could be a chasm, for example. Or a castle. Or a forest. Or Space. Or a shopping mall full of zombies. “Dungeon” is inaccurate shorthand for “any dangerous but explorable environment that I can make up.”
I’ll try to, but I can’t promise anything if we have a lot of players. Here’s some useful advice if you want to take part:
Be fast! I can only really cater to the first twenty players or so, and after that it quickly becomes unmanageable. Get in as soon after noon as you can.
Be part of a team! Bring some friends along for the ride through @ responses and form an adventuring party. It’s much quicker for me to respond to three or four people with one tweet, which means more content for you!
Be interesting! Bit of a dick move, this, but the more interesting you are the more I’ll have to play off. So do stupid stuff and make stupid characters and generally act the fool; I tend to pay attention.
Not at all, although it helps. Just capitalise nouns and verbs and other important-sounding words until your response looks funny. That’s what I do.
I’ll try not to, but if there’s something that I feel all players should know about, I’ll post it publicly. Tell me to shut up if I’m getting on your nerves.
I’m Grant Howitt — a freelance games journo and, now, suddenly, a freelance gamesmaster. I wrote that thing about the Toughpad you might have read. And that one where I gatecrashed Nintendo’s girls’ gamer event.
Yes! I’ll be collating all the best responses into a sort of story using Storify, and plonking it on the Giz site the morning after every Dungeoncrawl.
Okay! That’s it! See you later.
Image Credit: Mik is a creative designer, happy to take on design work for any worthwhile or charitable causes.