Mumsnet Rocked by Saucy/Gross Bedside "Penis Beaker"

By Gerald Lynch on at

We've all got our kinks and quirks when it comes to getting busy under the bedsheets, but what about the clean-up operation afterwards? One Mumsnet user's post-coital routine erred just the wrong side of weird, causing the site's servers to strain under the weight of unexpected traffic as "Penis Beaker-gate" went viral.

Longtime Mumsnet user Sara Crewe described how she and her lover, rather than keeping a lamp and an old paperback on the bedside table, prefer to keep a beaker of water by the bed for a post-sex dick-gunk dunking.

“We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me," Crewe revealed.

“Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.”

That's one way of putting it! Am I the only person who is reminded of the "pale ale" scene from American Pie?

“On a daily basis we get about 300,000 visits to the site and at the moment it's looking like today's traffic will be more than double that. Frankly our poor old servers are beginning to creak as the thread goes viral,” explained Mumsnet co-founder Justine Roberts.

“Mumsnet is a go-to destination for straight answers when you need to ask life's important but often embarrassing questions. And a recurring theme is 'is this normal behaviour?' Obviously it can be a bit of a blow to find out that it's not.”

Anyone want to one-up the penis beaker? A hoover at the foot of the bed perhaps? [Mumsnet via Telegraph]

Image Credit: Glass of Water Beside Bed from