Seriously, Enough With This Apple Christmas Ad

By Brian Barrett on at

Apple's new wintry ad has been called, in turn, endearing, note-perfect, and, in a spasm of enthrallment, perhaps Apple's best iPhone commercial ever. I think maybe I saw a different ad.

You can watch above, but for those who prefer words: We see a family celebrating Christmas, absent Sullen Male Youth, who is preoccupied with his phone. See?

Seriously, Enough With This Apple Holiday Ad

Seriously, Enough With This Apple Holiday Ad

Seriously, Enough With This Apple Holiday Ad

And so on.

Eventually, SMY commandeers the television set with his phone. The big reveal? He's been shooting a heartfelt iMove this whole time! Everyone cries, especially Hysterical Aunt:

Seriously, Enough With This Apple Holiday Ad

Let's set aside for a moment that the phone placement of SMY doesn't actually line up with resulting the home video (maybe he lined up gramps for extra takes?). Ignore that our lead Rimbaud fanatic is almost certainly SnapChatting or Candy Crushing or god, I don't know, Evernoting Smiths lyrics for a sunny day. Allow that all Christmas ads glisten with a sheen of smarm. That still leaves us with two insurmountable problems with the aptly titled "Misunderstood:" the basic premise, and its fallout.

Even if this young man—who is quite sullen—really is spending every single moment on his phone recording his family's activities, he's still not partaking in them. He's experiencing the holidays at an anthropological remove. He's a skulking auteur, keeping the world at retina display's length. He's not letting anything come between him and his iPhone, not even the memories he cares enough about to record.

And while the big reveal at the end is absurd—how many SMYs are secretly taking home movies next week?—the family's reaction is even more annoying. The tears don't seem to come from looking at what a wonderful weekend they all just had together. It's a palpable ease of tension, a living-room-sized mylar balloon that pops with a gust of calm. That boy is not a monster, they exult, he's just been creeping.

The reason they are surprised and relieved, of course, is that most young men and young women—and tweens and olds and anyone, really, with access to a smartphone—acts exactly like Sullen Male Youth. All the time. We Instagram meals before we eat them, tweet jokes about news stories we haven't yet read. If anything, the unfortunate default mode for many of us is hiding behind phones, inside apps. Any other use case sends us into paroxysms of joy and relief.

There's one perfect moment in "Misunderstood," and I'll leave it below. There's nothing to say about it, really, other than that it captures the joy and spirit of Christmas in a single frame.

Seriously, Enough With This Apple Holiday Ad

Except that, also, there's not a smartphone in sight.