Samsung's New Speakers are Basically Portal Guns

By Sean Hollister on at

Samsung says these fancy speakers were created at a "state-of-the-art audio lab in Valencia, California." We know better. They're clearly the product of Aperture Science, the secret think tank responsible for a hilarious murderous artificial intelligence, not to mention one hell of a teleportation tool.

Unless Aperture is in Valencia, I mean. I guess that's possible too.

Sadly, it doesn't look like the Samsung WAM6500 and WAM7500 speakers will have the ability to bend space or emancipate matter, but they do seem to bend sound: each uses something called a "ring radiator" to fire audio 360 degrees to fill a room. No other details like pricing or availability yet, but you'll have two options when they're on sale: the tabletop model you see above, and the portable kettle-like contraption below. Every P-Body needs an Atlas, after all.

Samsung's New Speakers Are Basically Portal Guns