You Know the Apple Watch Will be Useless Without These Bracelets

By Jesus Diaz on at

Attention, Apple fans! Are you going to buy an Apple Watch? Shut up. I know you are. It is superfluous if you have an iPhone but screw it — if Tim Cook can't live without it, you can't either. YOU MUST GET IT. There is only one true, big, hairy 'but': battery life will suck. Really suck. No matter what Apple says. Don't worry though, I'm here to fix that.

Apple claims that, with typical use, it will last 18 hours.

You Know the Apple Watch Will Be Useless Without These Battery Bracelets

Fact: Everyone knows it will be much less. And as time goes by, battery life will degrade — by the end of its first year, it will last something like 1.5 hours. That's why you will need THIS APPLE WATCH BATTERY BRACELET I JUST INVENTED. Each bracelet will give you six hours of Apple Watch time. Seven maybe. I don't know. I'm just pulling this technical information out of the air

Get the watch. Then get a couple of these bracelets.

Now send me your money. Thanks. [Don't send me your money]