Hey, if you're an adult and want to numb the pain of living beyond your teens, then why not head down to Birmingham's Amusement 13 club on Kent Street, where you can get in touch with your inner child, and then ply it with alcohol.
The "Regression Sessions" club night has a mix of house, garage and DnB - along with a ball pit, bouncy castle and face painting. Look at what these young people, who will be in charge of society when we're all old and dead, got up to (all of the photos are from Only by Night photography):
To make matters worse, there was apparently a magician on hand. But if it all gets too much for you, you can always go upstairs to the "quiet zone", to defeat the point of a nightclub and go play N64 instead.
According to The Birmingham Mail, which originally reported the story, "guests could even just stand and pop rolls of bubble wrap if they so choosed". Hmm.
Other attractions included a photo booth, a caricature artist and flashbacks to an idealised past which never actually existed.