Mobile Phone Joke Voted Funniest of the Edinburgh Fringe

By James O Malley on at

A one-liner from comedian Darren Walsh has been voted the best joke of the month-long Edinburgh Fringe festival, in a competition organised by the TV channel Dave.

Are you ready? Here's his joke:

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free"

Apparently this year isn't Walsh's first time at the Fringe, though it is the first time he has performed a full one-hour show, titled Punderbolt. Walsh follows in the footsteps of previous winners which includes Tim Vine. He has also previously won the "UK Pun Championships" at the Leicester Comedy Festival.

The winner was decided after a panel of well-credentialed comedy critics put forward their favourite jokes from the fringe, and the shortlist was put to 2,000 members of the public to vote on.

Here's the full top 10 jokes:

1) "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free" - Darren Walsh

2) "Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3) "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4) "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter" - Masai Graham

5) "If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn't go" - Dave Green

6) "Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas" - Mark Nelson

7) "Red sky at night. Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night. Day" - Tom Parry
=8) "The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves" - Alun Cochrane

=8) "Clowns divorce. Custardy battle" - Simon Munnery

9) "They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for..." - Grace The Child

Dave also polled for the "most groan-worthy" (worst) jokes, and came up with the following three:

"What do honeymooners eat for breakfast? Wedded Wheat" - Lou Sanders

"I am Canadian. But if you think I'm Russian, Soviet" - Steward Francis

"I suffer from PMS. My wife gets it and I suffer" - Jeff Green

Expect to see Walsh awkwardly shoe-horning his existing material into a 'spontaneous' bit on Mock the Week soon.