Stafford Borough Council Using the Power of Night Vision to Combat Dog Shit

By Aatif Sulleyman on at

In one of the stranger stories of the week, Stafford Borough Council has got so sick and tired of dog shit that it’s giving its staff the power of night vision. It’s hoped that the ‘monocular’ -- a mini telescope that comes in at £200 a pop -- will make it easier to spot dog owners who fail to clean up after their pets.

With the sun setting earlier and earlier as winter approaches, it's becoming increasingly difficult to catch turd-dispensing terrorists. This may seem like an extreme measure to introduce, but most of us can admit we'd be a little happier/less miserable if there was a bit less poo in the world. That said, some people are actually collecting crap for genuine medical reasons

"We target hotspots from information we get from our residents but with the darker morning and early evenings it is difficult to catch someone who is not cleaning up," said Councillor Frank Finlay, the cabinet member for environment and health, and a man you feel superpowers would be lost on. "These night-vision goggles will help us overcome this problem and let people know that, even under the cover of darkness, they cannot get away with showing blatant disregard to their fellow citizens." [Staffordshire Newsletter]