This is What Edinburgh Wankers Search For on Pornhub

By Aatif Sulleyman on at

Seriously, it’s like horny Glaswegians and Edinburghians are having a competition in sexual patriotism. Pornhub's latest stats tell us that inside every beautiful Edinburgh house is a person checking the plumbing while getting a load of some serious Scotland-themed smut. Gerard Butler doesn’t quite make the grade, but to be fair to him, he's up against some serious competition in ‘Stirling’, ‘Edinburgh’, ‘Dundee’, ‘Scotland’ and ‘Dundee’. I almost shot a load just typing those out.

It seems that nothing gets an Edinburghian hotter or wetter than the thought of Scotland. Some of the landscapes are stunning, but I wouldn’t ever crack one out over Arthur’s Seat. Probably.

Up in Edinburgh, your average Cyclops-choker on the (presumably picturesque) street is 35 years old, male and suffering from a low sense of self-worth. Alright, I made that last bit up. 52 per cent of Pornhub users in Scotland’s capital whack it to moving images on their smartphone, with 30 per cent opting for the desktop experience and 18 per cent down with tablets. [Pornhub]