Kim Jong-un Readies Nuclear Weapons for Pre-Emptive Strike

By Gerald Lynch on at

North Korean nutter demigod Kim Jong-un has reacted to the UN’s tough stance on nuclear by preparing for all-out nuclear war. He’s reportedly ordered North Korea's nuclear arsenal to be ready for pre-emptive use ‘anytime’, and though nobody outside of the country is entirely sure what sort of weaponry North Korea has at its disposal, everyone’s terrified of the unhinged, gerbil-faced leader and therefore taking his threats very seriously indeed.

According to reports from North Korea’s official KCNA news agency, Jong-un has been passing the time testing a new, high-calibre multiple rocket launcher this week. The western world already knew that North Korea had a number of warheads up its sleeve, but until now assumed that it had no means of accurately launching them.

It’s safe to say that South Korea isn’t best pleased. The country’s defence ministry says the North fired several rockets up to 90 miles into the sea on Thursday.

"We must always be ready to fire our nuclear warheads at any time," he said this week, according to KCNA. "At an extreme time when the Americans... are urging war and disaster on other countries and people, the only way to defend our sovereignty and right to live is to bolster our nuclear capability.”

So, 2016: the end of the world? [Telegraph]