What Could Happen if Morrissey Became Mayor of London?

By Gary Cutlack on at

Morrissey has said he's "very seriously" considering a proposal to stand for election as the mayor of London, and he's used this flurry of unexpected political publicity to launch into one of his standard meat is murder/eat the rich/cows are nice diatribes.

The Animal Welfare Party is responsible for this fantasy bit of politics, with Morrissey himself revealing on his semi-official news portal True To You that they asked him to stand in the forthcoming mayoral elections on an aggressive vegetarian "social injustice" [to animals] ticket.

In a ranting wall of poorly-punctuated text similar to that found in his sadly terrible recent novel, Morrissey sort of set out his platform, saying: "The abattoir is the modern continuation of the Nazi concentration camp, and if you are a part of the milk-drinking population, then you condone systems of torture. There is no such thing as humane slaughter, and if you believe that there is, then why not experience it for yourself? If animal serial killer Jamie Oliver feels so passionate about including 'kid meat' (young goat) into the human diet, would he consider putting forth one of his own kids (children) for general consumption?"

So... it'd be quite bad news for the children of Jamie Oliver were Morrissey to become London Mayor. There would also be sweeping changes to the school meals system, we suspect, plus little chance of success in petitioning for the return of free school milk, seeing as Morrissey seems to be under the illusion that it's actually the blood of cows people are putting in their tea. Plus Chinatown might be in trouble.

Morrissey says he'd need 330 signatures of support from people across all London boroughs to be allowed to stand in the London mayoral race, which shouldn't be too much trouble for someone who's still yet to alienate all of the people who used to like him. [True To You via Standard]

Image credit: Morrissey from Shutterstock

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