On Wednesday, Domino’s achieved a major milestone in automation when it successfully completed the first commercial delivery of a sad pizza you instantly regret ordering by drone.
By partnering with UAV delivery service Flirtey, the company was able to make the once fantastic dream of having a flying robot bring you a physical manifestation of your constant compromises a reality, transporting two cheesy lament discs to a customer in Whangaparaoa, New Zealand.
“We invested in this partnership, and technology, because we believe drone delivery will be an essential component of our pizza deliveries, so even more customers can receive the freshest, hottest pizza we can offer,” said Domino’s Group CEO Don Meij in an apparently sincere statement. “I am proud of this partnership that has not only delivered this momentous event, but is leading the world for this important technology.”
According to Quartz, Domino’s hopes to one day expand unmanned aerial delivery of its grease-soaked guilt bombs. For now, however, you can only participate in the fundamentally depressing pilot programme if you live within 1.5 kilometres of its Whangaparaoa store.
“This will actually create jobs,” said Meij, presumably before looking out into the distance as the last glimmer of daylight blazed defiantly above the horizon and then finally disappeared.