Remember that story about a turtle in Thailand, nicknamed Piggy Bank, that had almost 1,000 coins removed from her stomach? The turtle that tourists used to feed coins hoping for good luck, before vets saved her, pulling out 11 pounds of coins? Well, she’s dead now.
The intestinal damage and nickel poisoning killed her, because humans are the fucking worst.
A cool thing you can do for good luck today in memory of Piggy Bank is to shove a penny up your ass and tell a stranger the saddest story you know. It’s what Piggy Bank would’ve wanted.