Today marks one year to do the day since Britain patriotically voted to throw off the shackles of Brussels and go it alone in the world as a free, independent nation. “Today is our Independence Day!” declared hero of the hour Nigel Farage upon winning.
So to celebrate, I thought that I’d look back at how Britain is doing now that we no longer have Jean-Claude Juncker jamming seventy years of unbroken peace and prosperity down our throats.
In the first quarter of 2017, the Euro area experienced GDP growth of 0.6%, but mercifully we told the Eurocrats what we think of their single market of 600 million or so consumers. In the same time period, British GDP grew at only 0.2% - what economists (or “Remoaners”, as I like to call them) might call the worst in the whole EU. Those Remoaners might call this “sclerotic”, but I prefer to think of this as a more considered, more dignified, more British type of economic growth. Do you want to see The Queen riding a motorbike? No, you want her in a carriage pulled by (British) horses.
In the immediate aftermath of the referendum, unpatriotic bankers panicked - and as a result, the value of the Pound fell - and has remained at a lower level than it was.
But here’s the thing: Has anyone thought about what this is actually measuring? This is a measure of how many Euros (eugh) you could buy with your Great British Pound Sterling. So why should we worry? In any case - this just makes imports more expensive, so instead we can focus on buying British, as per our patriotic duty.
According to the Office of National Statistics - who are also just Remoaners - inflation has got up to almost 3% again. Yes, everything might get more expensive to buy, and it means that you’re effectively taking a pay cut, but look at this way: Think about all of that sovereignty we’ve got instead. Mmmmmm, lovely definitely-tangible sovereignty. Doesn’t that feel better?
On Conservative Home yesterday, Tory MEP and leading Brexiteer Daniel Hannan wrote “The Leave campaign was internationalist and optimistic in tone”. And that’s why the statistically significant spike in racist attacks following the referendum was just one big massive coincidence.
It wasn’t the Leave campaign that spent months dog whistling about scary Muslims from Turkey, or the “Breaking Point” posters that fueled an upsurge in racism, it must have just been caused by some other thing.
Now that Britain is free, surely our freedom-loving European friends will be desperate to jump ship and join us here. According to UCAS though, university applications from EU students have fallen by 7% in the year since the referendum.
But then the remoaning elites in their ivory towers, who claim to be “intellectuals” just because they “know about things” would say that.
And yes, even if we accept that that having the best and brightest in a country is a good way to ensure economic growth, we can think about it another way: Are universities really such a good thing? Do we really want to send kids to institutions that will indoctrinate them with the dogma of human rights and solidarity with our fellow humans? If we’re irresponsible enough to let our kids go to university, there’s a chance they might go to the history department and learn something from it.
Perhaps instead we shouldn’t listen to these elites - and be more like humble Nigel Farage, who didn’t go to university. Instead he learned to be a real man of the people at Dulwich College and during a career working as a commodities trader in the City of London.
And finally, perhaps our greatest achievement in taking back control. Thanks to Brexit, we’ve managed to massively reduce the number of nurses from the EU that want to come and work in Britain. Yes, there might be a massive shortage as we have an ageing population and a social care crisis. But what we do have is our sovereignty, and what could be more sovereign than being elderly, yet being forced to look after yourself because there is no one there to help?
Happy Brexit Day everyone.