Ministry of Justice Demands Ban on Bumhole-Friendly Tiny Phones

By Gary Cutlack on at

The current justice secretary has called for the current generation of ultra small mobile phones to be banned, because, he thinks, they only exist so they can be smuggled into prisons within the body cavities of kindly visiting friends and relatives.

David Lidington is particularly furious about the range of tiny mobiles sold under the Beat the BOSS brand and various imitations thereof, which he says have been seen advertised and sold specifically due to their ability to evade detection by scanners.

The £25 miniature, non-smart devices are apparently flooding prisons, where they exchange hands for many multiples of their original value on the inside, with prisoners not put off in the slightest by the fact they came into prison in a freezer bag up someone resembling Phil Mitchell's bottom.

Lidington said: "It's pretty clear that these miniature phones are being advertised and sold with the purpose of being smuggled. I am calling on online retailers and trading websites to take down products that are advertised to evade detection measures in prisons." [BBC]

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