Just in case you've been living under a rock, or out on some sort of technophobic meditation retreat, I'll just remind you that KFC is having a bad week. It changed the company in charge of delivering its chicken, and consequently fucked up the whole system - forcing many branches to shut down due to lack of the chain's trademark product.
While we've been listing all the nearby alternatives for people near the affected KFCs, PETA has got in touch to insist people don't need to fret. Instead of eating living being with feelings and stuff, you should try many of the amazing vegan fried chicken establishments around the country.
Obviously, being vegan, it's not actual chicken, it's some sort of plant mash coated in dairy-free breadcrumbs and fried in oil from another plant. But it basically tastes the same. Or so they say. I wouldn't know because I have questionable morals and am quite happy chomping down on dead animal flesh (and other animal-based products) without feeling even the slightest bit of guilt. I know, I'm a monster.
Anyway, here's the list PETA sent us, with vegan-eateries selling their own brand of fake chicken:
- Burger Lolz, Sheffield
- Bread Meets Bread, Edinburgh
- The Caledonia Pub, Liverpool, which sells "Chimken"
- Not Dogs, Birmingham
- Seitan's Grill, Cheltenham
- Earth, Hampshire
- Vegan Fried Chicken, Leeds
- Temple of Seitan, London
- V-Rev, Manchester
- Happy Friday Kitchen, Oxford
Basically PETA wants to use this opportunity to tell you that you don't have to torture animals to have a good meal, even if they are delicious. So if your local KFC is shut, and the nearest alternative is miles away, you don't need to go to the takeaway down the road. Go to one of these places! They're apparently cruelty free, though having worked in similar customer-facing positions I can assure PETA that having to deal with the general public is its own kind of torture.
At least they're offering something just as good as real chicken. Honest.