Why Does Mark Zuckerberg Always Look Like He's About to Cry?

By Tom Pritchard on at

Mark Zuckerberg has been in the news a fair bit recently, what with the whole Cambridge Analytica debacle continuing on with no end in sight. While sifting through all the stories about CA and the fact Zuckerberg seems to be the most sought-after in the tech industry, we came to a stunning realisation about his photos. It's no secret that Zuckerberg is a bit of a funny looking dude, but we noticed that in nearly every single photo he looks like he's seconds away from bursting into tears.

We've been thinking about why this might be, and rather than accept it's simply his own personal version of the resting-bitch-face, everyone here at Giz UK decided to speculate as to why Marky Zuck always looks so upset. Here's what we came up with.

He's always being sued

Zuckerberg and Facebook have faced legal battles since the beginning, and it doesn't look like those issues will go away anytime soon. Whether it's accusations of IP theft from the Winklevoss Twins, angry former colleagues claiming they were cheated out of their share of the company, or big game studios accusing you of poaching trade secrets, Zuckerberg and Facebook have a lot of experience in the courtroom.

He's secretly a robot that hasn't fully figured out the link between expressions and complex emotions

Plus he can't actually cry or else he'd short circuit.

Someone sent him a message calling him "Suckerberg"

That shit hurts more than simply being called "Fuckerberg" because you can't be sure if it's an insult or a typo.

Someone figured out how to block his shtoyle

It had to happen someday. That Cartman is an evil genius.

Someone told him Batman v Superman was terrible, and it was all his fault

Zombieland was much better.

Snapchat still exists, and the latest rip-off app failed spectacularly

Why won't the kids use Facebook Stories?

Eye strain from the latest Oculus prototypes

This is a pretty reasonable concern. Don't ruin your eyes, Mark.

He's still associated with Palmer Luckey, who won't cut out the shenanigans

Fake News association was bad enough.

Too many nazis

Paul Golding and Jayda Fransen wouldn't stop poking him.

HQ Trivia questions only ever mention MySpace and Friends Reunited

And Sharon won't respond to his heart-felt messages.

Tom from MySpace is still infinitely more popular

Mark who?

All he wanted was a year off work and everyone insists he's secretly running for president

People dream of travelling, but as soon as you go anywhere you're suddenly trying to rule the world.

The #deletefacebook movement


The man he gave a share of $16 billion to joined in on #deletefacebook

So ungrateful.

The EU won't let him exploit WhatsApp user data to sell more ads

How is he supposed to keep getting richer and improving the company's stock price?

The cost of buying out the latest hip and happening app

Can't let these small time developers muscle in on his territory.

Netflix added The Social Network

Nobody likes Facebook anymore


The Facebook app killed his iPhone Battery

You think he'd be in a position to fix that.

Facebook has over a billion users, and most of them won't accept his friend requests


They're still complaining about the redesign from eight years ago

People will not let these things go.

People have realised being spied on by a multi-billion dollar corporation that wants to sell you ads is a bad thing

But hey, on the bright side, at least Google+ is a complete failure.