Avengers Sex Toys, Assemble!

By Alex Cranz on at

Late last year Australian sex toy maker Geeky Sex Toys gave us serious pause. At the time it was producing sex toys based off Star Wars, including a seriously optimistic rendition of Yoda’s verdant dong, and there was no clear reason why the company wasn’t saddled with so many cease and desists from Disney as to leave a dildo-shaped crater in the Australian landscape. Now it’s getting naughty with Disney’s stable of Marvel superheroes, too.

The company still hasn’t explained to io9 how it can get away with these shenanigans (we have reached out for comment), but potential litigious action hasn’t stopped the sex toy maker from pontificating on what it would be like to get fisted by Death’s ex-boyfriend. So, um, thanks for that?

At any rate, it looks like Thanos can use the Infinity Gauntlet for a lot more than killing off half the universe.

The Infinity Fist is a, you guessed it, fist-shaped dildo intended to conjure images of Thanos’ gold-encased, meaty hand. It is naturally not true to size because human beings have limits and I’m pretty sure getting played like a puppet by a hand the size of a ham shank is one such limit.

Here’s the rest of the “Indulgers: Pleasure War” collection:

If it, or the similarly enormous green “Incredible Dong” does not appeal, Geeky Sex Toys is also selling: Captain Anal and Arse Reactor butt plugs; Agent Getsmeoff, a Black Widow branded fleshlight; and, uh...the HawkAss, an arrow-shaped dildo intended for pegging a target just like the world’s greatest marksman.

Personally, though, my favourite is the Möan-lnir, which is just Thor’s Mjolnir, but with a dildo for a handle, and a neat little stand to drive the pun home. (“Whosoever holds this hammer, if he or she be horny, shall possess the power of Thor!”) It’s simple, elegant, and I am 32 percent sure I can pronounce the name more easily than Mjolnir.

Finally, a classy sex toy for the nerd who wants to put sex toys on their mantle without people seeing them and screaming THAT IS A SEX TOY.Image: Geeky Sex Toys