Heinz Wants Some Attention

By Gary Cutlack on at

Heinz salad cream, which if memory serves tastes a bit like mayonnaise but maybe tangier or sweeter or something, could be in for a rebrand. It probably isn't, though, as Heinz's potential renaming of "salad cream" to "sandwich cream" is surely the result of a meeting where they came up with ideas on how to promote salad cream for free and get salad cream in the news.

Hence this story, and the original published by paywalled food retail specialist The Grocer, in which Heinz says it's examining the possibility of starting to call British national treasure #27 salad cream "sandwich cream" instead, because most people put it in sandwiches instead of putting it on salads now. Which is a bit like changing the name of tomato ketchup to "chips sauce" or HP renaming its sauce something like "bacon sandwich lubricant" or milk suddenly being called "cereal softener" or "tea lightener."

Anyway, apparently this change is for real and important people at Heinz are examining mocked-up "sandwich cream" logos right now, so if you don't want to see another bit of Britain crumble to millennial homogenisation where names of products also have to say what they do lest people hurt or confuse themselves, get your petition underway. We think that's all Heinz wants. 100 signatures would probably do it, as all they need to do is sell a few more bottles of white-sandwich-juicier-maker this summer.

People don't understand how to eat it is the problem according to Heinz's Joel Hughes, who said: "As a market leading business, Kraft Heinz continues to audit its portfolio in order to meet the needs of consumers. There are consumers now who haven't grown up with the brand in the household and just don't know about the iconic zingy flavour or what to eat it with."

Maybe Heinz should say millennials think it's cream you put on your face while eating salad, like some sort of protective covering? Save that for next year's we're-renaming-a-treasure stunt. [BBC]