Cheese and Onion Crisps Added to Heatwave Shortage List

By Gary Cutlack on at

Farmers are warning that the hot weather has impacted the nation's onion harvest now as well as threatening the potato crop, so... Jesus Christ they might start running out of cheese and onion crisps.

This grim warning comes from the boss of fascinating trade group British Onions, who says we can expect the sacred onion fields to yield up to 25 per cent fewer vegetables this season than in a usual year thanks to the heat battering the poor bulbs. Tim Elcombe from British Onions said: "When I took the job representing British growers as chairman of British Onions, I imagined it would be the quietest of jobs. And all of a sudden it’s the worst year in our history."

Sounds like it's maybe your fault then, Tim? You take over and it all coincidentally all goes to shit for the onions. How many onions have you personally watered this year, Tim? Do you even own a hosepipe? A Freedom of Information request is on its way to British Onions right now. [iNews]