Corbyn Calls For Extra Bank Holiday If Something That Definitely Won't Happen Actually Happens

By Tom Pritchard on at

Jeremy Corbyn is a big fan of bank holidays. He can't stop suggesting that people take a day off work, to the point where I think he might have partially reversed his republican image if the government had given everyone an extra day off for Harry's wedding. In addition to the four extra bank holidays he's been promising since last April, Jeremy has suggested people get the day off work should England win the World Cup.

You know, that thing that's never going to happen no matter how much people pray and leave the room during penalty shootouts.

It was a suggestion made by shadow foreign secretary Emily Thornberry at the beginning of the World Cup, and now a spokesperson for Corbyn has confirmed he fully backs the idea.

"We don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but I think it is the case that Jeremy believes that if England were to win the World Cup there should be a public bank holiday in celebration.

The World Cup is a very special international competition. It's something that brings people together on a very large scale and we need recognition of that and recognition of the importance of football in the country."

It's a nice gesture, but a fairly empty one. Let's get real, no matter how well England does in Saturday's game against Sweden it's not going to win the World Cup. Every time the tournament comes around people act like the team has a chance of winning, and the hype train screams to a halt when they get knocked out. Even last night's game against Colombia was a pretty unlikely win, seeing as how England let in the equalising goal in the 93rd minute.

And even then we'd need to rely on the government doing something nice that may be in the interests of the general public. I can't see that happening, even if England do win. Not that it matters, since most people will be too hungover to function properly. [Sky News]