Do you like Game of Thrones? Do you feel an affinity with House Targaryen, their dragon-scales-and-golden-eggs aesthetic, and their badass house words 'Fire and Blood'?
Then you probably should not buy these trainers by Adidas, which allege to be licensed GoT merchandise celebrating House Targaryen, but are in fact just a pair of white shoes:
Yes, there's the Targaryen sigil on the back of the tongue where literally no one is going to see it, and the words 'FIRE AND BLOOD' in a really dull black and white font on a label at the back, but would anyone look at those shoes and say 'Targaryen'? Anyone at all?
In fairness, the other pair of Targaryen kicks is a lot closer to the Dragon Queen's aesthetic:
But still, they're pretty subtle. Yes, they look like they're smouldering, which is cool, but again, no one's going to look at those and say 'Game of Thrones.' I could write "Jon Snow" on the bottom of my slippers and be like "ooh I have secret GoT shoes" too, but if no one can tell unless you explain it to them, what's the point? If they're going to be this subtle, why did they bother paying for the license?
In defence of the first pair, our Khaleesi does wear quite a bit of white, and it looks like there'll be more of that in the next series:
The first official photo from #GameOfThrones’ final season is here! Get exclusive details on the most impossible finale in TV history in our report from the #GoT set: https://t.co/wjWGa4K2Yr pic.twitter.com/59aFZkCR0U
— Entertainment Weekly (@EW) November 1, 2018
But where's the fur trim, the embellishments, the dragon scales, the metal, the references to literally anything she's ever worn? This woman is a fierce warrior, and those trainers are weaksauce.
Considering how expensive these are likely to be when they launch in January, we're pretty disappointed with both pairs. Targaryen trainers sound badass and they should look badass. We would 100% buy a pair of kicks that looked like something Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons would actually wear, but this is not them.