The only thing more enjoyable than watching couples break up over inexpensive kitchenware is following it up with meatballs and ice cream, which is one of the reasons Ikea is so popular. The other, obviously, is that they've gamified furniture by turning it into elaborate jigsaw puzzles that may or may not be missing several key pieces.
Now, however, you no longer have to trek all the way to Outer Nowheresville to get your fill of Swedish meatballs, because Ikea is working with Uber Eats to deliver them to your home. Well, not YOUR home, probably. Just homes within a very specific two-mile radius of the Ikea kitchen at 367 Geffrye Street, London E2 8HZ.
Even if you happen to be within that tiny area, you can only order between the 16th and 20th of November. Oh, and only between the hours of 11am-2pm and 5-10pm.
It's almost as if this is some kind of publicity stunt and not an actual service that they want people to use, isn't it?
The single person in the universe who manages to take advantage of this offer will get their choice of two menus for two people at £10, or one menu for four people at £20. In addition to all the food on the menus below, those prices include some Ikea bits and bobs to set the mood (do not eat the scented candle):
The Snug (£10 for 2 people): meatballs x20, mashed potato or chips, cream sauce, lingonberry jam, Daim cake x 2 (with SANELA cushion cover, AVSIKTIG napkins, NEW ODDRUN throw, SINNLIG scented candle).
The Formal (£10 for 2 people): veggie balls x20, butternut squash, courgette and kale hash, plain sugardonut x 2 (with FLIMRA wine glass x 2, MARIT placemat, SMYCKA artificial flower, GULLMAJ napkin, STABBIG decoration for candle).
The Family Platter (£20 for 4 people): meatballs x20, veggie balls x20, mashed potato or chips, butternut squash, courgette and kale hash, cream sauce, lingonberry jam, Daim cake x 2, plain sugar donut x 2 (with VINTER 2018 disposable cup x10 pack, VINTER 2018 disposable paper plate x10 pack, NEW STRALA LED lighting chain, FANTASTISK paper napkin, MARIT table runner).
Maybe if the service proves popular it'll roll out to more places and more times, but if not, you'll just have to stick to taking your significant other to the kitchen bit in actual Ikea and pretending to be fancy. Ah well, it's tradition. [Metro]