We've chosen to rise above the dick jokes from here on out, like a turgid member rising from the cottony depths of a pair of boxer-briefs. It's low-hanging fruit; like a wizened scrotal sack losing its war with gravity.
We're embracing similes today instead.
Aldi has announced that it will once again be stocking up its foot-long sausages. That's 12 inches of pork for you to swallow for just £1.99. And if it tastes a little tangy as you're choking it down, that's perfectly normal. The sausages have a touch of South Carolina sauce flavour, which is a mustard-based BBQ sauce.
The supermarket brandished its giant sausage last year as well, after initially introducing it for a limited time in November, 2017.
Just like last year, we'll also see the return of the 16 oz extra thick 'Big Daddy' rump steak for £4.99. It doesn't look like the 1lb Colossal Beef Burger burgers will be rearing their magnificent heads; instead we'll be getting a 1.5kg porchetta joint for £9.99.
So celebrate your dad's contribution to making you with some quality pork this Father's Day, on June 16.[Metro]
Feature image credit: Aldi