In a surprise to no one, the British are out-drinking their fellow nations by getting rat-arsed on an average of at least once a week, because I guess no one else is trying hard enough.
The Guardian reports that the Global Drugs survey's research included 36 countries, with the US and Canada coming a close second and third to the UK, with citizens getting drunk 50 and 48 times a year on average respectively, compared to our 51.1 instances a year.
Last year, a director at Public Health England (PHE) revealed that 4.4 per cent of the UK's population is guzzling up over 30 per cent of the country's alcohol, which means that two million people are chugging a third of all of the alcohol sold here.
And it's not just alcohol – 74 per cent of the survey's English participant admitted to having using cocaine at some stage in their lives compared to the global average of 43 per cent. And the usage is up for the country year-on-year, going from 43 per cent last year to 64 per cent this year.
"In the UK we don’t tend to do moderation, we end up getting drunk as the point of the evening," said Prof Adam Winstock, the founder of the Global Drug Survey. "Until culture changes and we become more European and moderate in our drinking, we might have to bite the bullet and think about how to advise people to get drunk drinking less."
James Nicholls, the chief executive of Transform Drug Policy Foundation, added, "Not only is cocaine use growing in the UK, it is also becoming purer and cheaper. Meanwhile, producers continue to suffer because they operate completely outside of the law, including employment and trade law. They can only dream of fair trade arrangements.
"Not only has prohibition failed to stem demand, as this data clearly shows, it has created a violent and exploitative market. If we are to have any chance of getting a better deal for farmers and suppliers, we must first legally regulate the market in order to get it under some level of control."
It's worth nothing that the survey is based on willing participants from each country all being totally honest, but they're certainly a handy indicator of general drug and alcohol use.